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SupportingPeer-reviewed experimental research· Peer-reviewed

You Can't Always Get What You Want: Effortful Control and Children's Responses to Undesirable Gifts

Kieras, J. E., Tobin, R. M., Graziano, W. G., & Rothbart, M. K. (2005). Psychological Science, 16(5), 391–396. DOI: 10.1111/j.0956-7976.2005.01546.x.

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Summary

Experimental research on how children respond, emotionally and behaviorally, to receiving a gift they don't want -- examined through the lens of effortful control (children's capacity to regulate their own reactions), part of a broader literature on children's social-emotional development around giving and receiving.

Key findings

  • Children's effortful control relates to how they manage their reaction to an undesirable gift.

GiftNav takeaway

Reinforces that a child's reaction to a gift is shaped by their developmental stage as well as the gift itself -- another reason age functions as a suitability check, not a taste profile.

Limitations & cautions

Studies children's emotional/behavioral self-regulation around gift receipt, not what gifts children actually want.

Themes

Used in these research topics

Last reviewed September 14, 2026.

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